Soap is not a condiment
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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