Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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