"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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