Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
try to milk me bitch
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