Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize