There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
