He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
