We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
