Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Semen is not good for contacts.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
