ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
