:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
