my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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