My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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