About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize