How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Randomize
