There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
