so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
