is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
