Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
My vagina is very pro this idea
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize