I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
