is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My vagina is very pro this idea
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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