too bad you live with your parents still
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
