oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
