i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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