1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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