you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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