An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
