I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
