i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
