Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
