like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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