So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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