If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
