is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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