I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
