Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
