Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
