I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
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