That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
