ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
