I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Randomize
