Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
