Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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