i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
