You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize