I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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