hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
