you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It's never too late to be topless.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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