it's too hot outside to masturbate.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
