dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
