It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
