Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
