Porn is love you can see.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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