Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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