I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
