I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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